“If you keep waiting to feel ready, you may never meet the version of you who only emerges through action.” - Tina Boss

The Art of Becoming

I wonder if you can relate - where you realise you’re no longer satisfied with who you’ve been. Not because there’s anything “wrong” with you, but because something inside you is stretching. Expanding. Asking for more truth, more integrity, more alignment.

For many of us, this moment doesn’t arrive with clarity. It arrives with restlessness. With dissatisfaction we can’t quite name. With a subtle sense that the way we’re living no longer fits, even if it still looks “fine” from the outside.

This happened for me several years ago, when I was finally ready to listen. And I see now how often this moment arrives quietly for so many of us - which is where the art of becoming truly begins.

Most of us have been taught, directly or indirectly, that becoming is something that happens later. When the money arrives. When the relationship is secure. When the confidence magically appears. When life finally settles down.

We live in this persistent loop of when this happens, then I’ll be this.
When I feel ready, then I’ll show up.
When I have certainty, then I’ll trust myself.
When I reach that milestone, then I’ll allow myself to become the woman I sense I’m meant to be.

That mindset was so ingrained into me through different areas of my life during my upbringing that I actually didn’t know, let alone recognise that these patterns were playing out. It seemed so ‘normal’ to want for something when something else happened.

But becoming doesn’t work like that. I’m grateful for the experiences that helped me see this clearly. And if you’re reading this with that familiar restlessness stirring, here’s what I know to be true: the version of you you desire to become isn’t waiting for you in the future. She’s already here, quietly inviting you to show up now.

The art of becoming is about showing up as the person you are desiring to be before life gives you proof that it’s safe to do so. It’s about collapsing timelines, not through force or manifestation tricks, but through embodiment. Through identity. Through aligned action.

A great place to start is with an honest question:
How does this future version of you walk through the world?
How does she speak - to others, and to herself?
How does she dress, choose, rest, and respond when things feel uncertain?

What does she read?
What does she watch?
What rooms or events does she place herself in?
What conversations does she no longer entertain?

And then, the part most people avoid, you begin to be her now.

Not perfectly. Not confidently. But intentionally.

I sense there is a common fear that arises here, one that sounds like: this feels fake.
But often what we’re really saying is: this feels unfamiliar. There is a difference and this is where your discernment will serve you well.

We’ve spent so long identifying with who we’ve been. Our limitations, our fears, our coping strategies, that stepping into a new way of being can feel like a betrayal to ourselves. But what if it’s not fake at all? What if it’s simply you remembering parts of yourself that were waiting for safety to emerge?

The process of becoming is not about pretending. It’s about capacity. This reframe has been a game changer for me. This might sound a bit out there, but I truly believe the universe doesn’t provide what you want - it provides what you are ready to hold.

And readiness has very little to do with worth.

It has everything to do with capacity.

Your capacity to receive.
Your capacity to regulate when things expand.
Your capacity to stay grounded when uncertainty appears.
Your capacity to take responsibility for what you’ve asked for.

If you cannot show the universe - through your actions, your boundaries, your self-trust - that you can hold what you desire, those opportunities often won’t present themselves. Not as punishment, but as protection. As preparation.

So when challenges arise – and we know they will - the most powerful questions are not why is this happening to me? but rather:
What is this asking from me?
What am I meant to learn here?
What version of me is required now?

This is the growth mindset that changes everything.

Becoming isn’t passive waiting. It’s not sitting back and hoping life will one day deliver you to yourself on a silver platter. It’s an active, conscious process of aligning who you are being with who you are becoming.

I often had it reflected to me things like – ‘Tina, you can’t wait for the stars to line up to take action, or make a decision.’ I would get so caught up in the When This – Then That loop, that I wasn’t moving forward. In myself specifically, like I wasn't growing into my potential.

What I understand know is that it requires aligned action - not hustle, not force, but movement that is grounded in truth. It requires taking imperfect action, even when fear is present, even when the stars are not all lined up. It requires noticing resistance and leaning toward it with curiosity rather than avoidance.

Because resistance doesn’t show up for things that don’t matter.

If resistance is present, it’s a sign that there is something there for you. Something you care about. Something that matters enough to stretch your identity. Something to learn from.

The question then becomes: how willing are you to get out of your own way?

How willing are you to trust your inner knowing, your inner truth, your desire for growth and for more - even when you can’t see the whole path yet?

This is bigger than you.

You are not just becoming for your own comfort or validation. You are becoming because life is asking more of you. Because your expansion creates permission for others. Because you are here to create, to co-create, to participate consciously in your reality.

And yet, one of the most honest places to look in this process is where your energy is leaking. Where attention goes, energy flows.

Where are you settling - with yourself?
At what level have you decided this is “good enough”?
Is it a subpar level that keeps you comfortable but small?

Often, settling is not about lack of desire, but lack of self-belief.
Believing you’re not capable.
Believing it’s too hard.
Believing you’re not willing or able to “do the work.”
Wanting the quick fix. The shortcut. The magic pill that will fix everything you perceive is wrong with you.

But in doing that, you sell yourself short.

There is something bigger available for you - but it requires alignment. It requires knowing your desires, being honest about them, and calibrating your energy to meet them.

This is where expanders become powerful - not as something to compare yourself to, but as a recalibration of what’s possible. When you see someone embody what you desire with integrity, your nervous system learns that this reality exists. And if it exists for someone else, it’s available in the field of possibility for you too.

When you don’t get something you want, it is often because you weren’t ready to hold it yet, or because it wasn’t truly aligned for you, even if you thought it was at the time. Hindsight has a way of revealing this. So many moments that once felt like rejection later reveal themselves as redirection.

I can look back on so many moments throughout my life where I really wanted something that I didn’t get. Even though at the time it was painful, and I didn’t yet have the perspective I do now, I can look back with gratitude for how those experiences shaped me.

The real question is not why didn’t it happen?
It’s who do I need to become to hold what I desire next?

Are you preparing yourself for that?
Are you building the internal foundation?
Are you becoming the person who can receive, sustain, and honour what is meant for you?

This is the art of becoming.

Not waiting.
Not forcing.
But taking bold, aligned steps toward the truth of who you are.

And it begins, always, with radical responsibility for your growth, your desires, and the life you are consciously choosing to create.

I am beyond grateful that I consciously choose each day to create my life on my terms. I am not ‘fixed’, I am not perfect, and I still experience the ‘when this – then this’ at times. The difference now is I can recognise it early and I can be the witness of my Self and take the radical responsibility of my own becoming.