"At some point, you have to stop reacting to your life and start taking responsibility for it.”
- Tina Boss

When Everything Feels Heavy

There is so much heaviness in the world right now, and in order to stay sane and not fall into the traps of the darkness, I remind myself that this is the cycle of life. There’s a good chance you’ve caught yourself lately thinking something like: “Why am I so affected by everything going on right now?”, “Why do I feel so overwhelmed by things I can’t even control?”, or my personal favourite - “I’m fine … I’m just a little stressed” (while your nervous system is doing the absolute most).

And look … fair.

But this is also where we need to be really honest with ourselves. Because the moment everything “out there” starts dictating everything “in here”, you’ve already handed your power over.

We live according to the Universal Laws and that means we live in rhythm and vibration, and the ebbs and flows are how nature is designed to behave. There needs to be polarity, and nothing happens by accident - every action has a consequence. When we understand the Universal Laws we can see a little more clearly through our own lens (which is always somewhat distorted), this understanding sharpens how we see things.

“If you’re not choosing your state, your state is choosing your life.”
- Tina Boss

Where You’re Handing Your Power Away

This post is not about the Universal Laws per se, however I want to use this framework to illustrate how important our own nervous system regulation is. So, let’s see this through the Law of Correspondence. You’ve most likely heard the saying “As within, so without”, or some version of that. What this law is showing us is that your inner world reflects your outer reality. Yes, yes, I can hear you saying, but I can’t control the horribleness of what is happening out there. I agree, mostly. This is where our power lies. We’re not here to control what happens out there - but we do influence it through how we show up. If you are constantly focusing on what is happening out there and allowing the events to dictate your state, you are the effect. You want to be the cause. Being the effect means your nervous system is dysregulated, you feel stressed, you are anxious, and life is happening to you. You feel out of control. The reality is you are not out of control – you are simply allowing yourself to be created.

Nothing Changes Until You Do

When we are in this dysregulated state, we bring focus to everything that is going wrong. We can’t find a car park, it feels like there are terrible drivers on the road every time we go out, we get every red light. What does this do? It perpetuates more anxiety, further dysregulation. “Well what do I do about this then?” I hear you ask. “I don’t control when the lights change, I can’t control how other people drive”. That is true, to a degree. The answer is simple, but not easy. Turn your attention inward. As within, so without. The longer your internal world is a little … chaotic (or let’s be honest, fully cray-cray some days), the longer your external world will remain chaotic. What you can change is the state of your nervous system.

It is certainly more than regulating your nervous system though: changing your mindset, understanding your human design, your parts, clearing your blocks, doing the inner-child work, the shadow work … all of it is important, and will completely change your life if you do the work. However, you can’t really go down into the depths of your subconscious and start excavating without having the nervous system capacity to hold you through the journey. This is key. Once you have the capacity to hold your new reality, wow, you start to recognise that life is happening for you. Whenever you want a car park – there it is, you don’t notice any crazy drivers on the road, you get every green light. This is not manifestation bullshit. This is not some woo woo magic. This is not reserved for the ‘special few’. This is how you change your outer reality - by changing your inner world.

You’re Not Powerless - You’re Responsible

This is how you move from being the victim of your circumstances, and start being the star player of your reality. You are the creator; you have infinite potentiality to create how you perceive and view the world. You have choice. You have agency. You have inner authority. When you take radical responsibility and see that you are in fact the one who, by changing your inner world, influences your outer world, you will witness the ripple this will have to those around you. That is the power of co-regulation. You will positively impact those closest to you. What a gift that is! And we all have the ability to bring this into fruition.

“Well it’s all well and good for you to say this Tina – you seem to have natural inner calmness. I have ADHD, my life is crazy, I have a thousand things on the go at once, everyone relies on me …” blah, blah, fucking, blah! Stop it!

This is a story you are telling yourself. You keep telling yourself this is your reality – so guess what? This continues to be your reality. Make the change. Put in place your boundaries, set aside 5 minutes to begin with to meditate. Start making yourself a priority – because no one else is going to – and it is not their job to do so! It is your job to put yourself first. Don’t have the time? Do an audit on what you are spending time on. How much time are you watching TV? How much time are you on social media? This is not to shame or guilt you … and let’s be honest here … if that is where you first went, then I’m sorry to say, this is where your work begins. Let go of the shame and guilt, start owning how you are spending your time. Recognise why you are avoiding sitting with yourself. We all have this, we all have reasons to dissociate, to numb, to avoid. You are not special … or alone!

“You are not here to be shaped by the world. You are here to decide who you are within it..”
- Tina Boss

I’ll circle back to this concept of ‘I can’t control what happens out there’. On a physical level this is true, but on a metaphysical level, within the quantum field, we can influence the outer world. We do this by building a resilient and regulated nervous system. We use meditation and breathwork to start this process. We embody the true essence of who we are – we embrace the light of the creator, we become the light of the creator. We show others by stepping into our truth that harmony, love, and connectedness is more powerful than hate and fear. By not buying into the outer stresses, and by turning inward and taking responsibility for this, you naturally influence “out there”. It can’t be any other way. So, the more of us that are doing the inner work, building our capacity to hold more, to be more, to embrace our divinity … the less ‘out there’ can impact us.

You owe this to yourself.

Now, let’s quote Eminem.

“Look, if you had one shot or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment, would you capture it or just let it slip?”

“You can do anything you set your mind to, man”.