"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power."

- Lao Tzu

What happens when you don’t yet know the power within you to claim?

You keep yourself small, you dim your light, you don’t dream big, and you lose touch with your intuition.

This is the illusion many of us live our lives by. That we are passive bystanders in our life, which means that only some people are lucky enough to experience greatness, or success.

This is exactly what it is – an illusion, our perspective, the lens in which we see the world. Which has come about by many factors, including our conditioning, our programming, and the blocks we are carrying from lifetime to lifetime.

I want to expand on an experience I had a few years ago that I loosely mentioned in some of my earlier blogs, which is when I experienced an amazing clearing from an energy healer. The following is simply my experience and how I have interpreted this experience. It forever changed me and for that I am grateful.

The Experience That Woke Me Up

When I was solo travelling around Australia, I was on a ‘spiritual quest’ to reconnect with myself after hitting rock bottom and feeling utterly and completely lost and broken. At the time I was 3 or so years out from a relationship breakdown with someone I describe as a narcissist (go all the way back to Blog 1 to read about this). During these years we were off and on in communication and while I was on this solo travelling quest we had once again reconnected and were having – what I thought – respectful and potential reconciling communication. Through his manipulation and gaslighting I was really starting to believe he had changed and that we could have a beautiful relationship. I was once again being drawn back into his web of lies and deception.

However, in one phone call that all changed. He showed his true colours again and I was back to a place of immense pain and total confusion. The abusive text messages started, and I just couldn’t believe I had allowed myself to go back to a place I had distanced myself from. The shame came flooding back, the self-doubt was crippling and I wanted to shut myself off from the entire world.

At the time I was working and living in an outback resort/caravan park, and the yoga teacher at the caravan park I was practising with regularly told me about an energy healer who was currently staying in the park. So I connected with her and made an appointment.

I visited her in the annex she had set up as a healing space and laid down on the table. I laid there with my eyes closed while she did her thing, all the while thinking ‘what is she doing?' I couldn’t feel anything, I didn’t know if I should be feeling anything, and then the session was finished. I got off the table and sat across from her, and she proceeded to tell me something I wasn’t prepared for and didn’t make any sense to me.

She said that she had not worked on anyone like this before and explained that she simply couldn’t ‘move’ my energy. She said my energy was like thick, black, tar. Like wtf! What does that mean? What is wrong with me?! She explained to me that she needed some time to tune into what could be going on with me. She mentioned that maybe I had a curse over me, or maybe I was carrying some ancestral agreement, or something else, and that she would need to go back into the field to seek some guidance. I was in a very vulnerable state, and I didn’t see this coming.

As I went to pay her for the session, I unlocked my phone and a notification popped up for an email I had from the ex-partner. (I had blocked him from texting me so this was his next avenue to reach me). My stomach dropped and anxiety ripped through my body.

She asked me what was wrong. I read out the email and gave her the short version of the current situation. During this time her demeanour and facial expression changed. She said she was feeling sick in the stomach, anxious and like she was experiencing fishing hooks being tugged at her back. She looked at me and said – it isn’t you; it is his energy that I am feeling. I still had no idea what she meant, but she said I needed to come back and see her in a few days.

Now, it is important to mention that since the breakup of this relationship I was still experiencing feelings towards this person (no judgment to my former self over this btw). I would wildly swing from wanting to return to the relationship to not wanting to. One day I felt love for him, the next hatred. My feelings towards him were confusing and overwhelming. I was under a spell that I couldn’t see, nor recognise I was under.

A few days later I returned to the energy healer. She did her session and explained this to me afterwards. According to her, we had cords to each other – me to him, him to me. His soul fought hard during the session while she cut these cords. He had hooks all through my back, which were used to draw me back into his life. She cut the cords, she removed the hooks and she wrapped me in an invisible protective shield to allow me time to heal.

From that moment – and I mean from that exact moment – I had absolutely no feelings towards this person. No feelings of love, no feelings of hatred – I felt 100% neutral towards him. I blocked him from every way he could possibly contact me and to this day (that was 5 years ago), I have had zero contact with him, and he has no power or influence over how I live my life.

I share this story because I truly believe this is an example of how there is something so much bigger than ourselves at play, and how we can live our life unbeknownst to the inherent power we possess. I understand to some people this may sound a bit too out-there, a bit woo-woo, and that’s fair. But I know within my deep inner knowing that this session changed me and something inside of me was awakened.

I realised that I had lived so much of my life passively. What I mean by that is I relied heavily upon someone else to make decisions for me, tell me what I should and shouldn’t do in situations, and basically followed other people’s paths. Not having the courage to go after what I wanted, to feel my desires, or speak my truth. I didn’t believe in myself enough to be able to take the reins and direct my own path fully. Which is exactly why I was on this solo journey. I knew there was more for me, I knew there was more to me, and I knew there was untouched potential within me.

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."

— Maya Angelou

The Law That Explains This

When I dived deeper into my spiritual learnings and reflected on this part of my life I think of the Law of Dominion. This is all around us as individuals having the inherent power and authority to govern our own lives and environment. This is powerful when you really take this in. We are so conditioned to believe that others know what is best for us, and so we listen to them and we take their advice and absorb their opinions. We haven’t yet understood this birth-right of being the dreamer and not the dreamt. But we possess free will and we have the capacity to influence our circumstances. This is done through our choices and aligned and inspired action.

When I refer to free will, this is how I see it, and this takes in different ancient wisdoms and teachings. I believe we are all here for a specific reason, our soul chose this life and all the challenges and lessons that come with it. We are here to work through our Tikkun (our soul’s correction as spoken about through the Kabbalah), which suggests that our path is set – which might sound like it is in direct conflict to having free will. But this is how I see this as not being in conflict; because we have access to multiple timelines in which our soul can access as part of our lifepath, and we can shift to any timeline at any time through our free will – through our choices and actions. So, yes, we are on a pre-determined path, but this is not one linear path, there are many paths available to us to travel on as part of this journey.

When we turn to the Law of Dominion it suggests that the universe allows us to step into personal empowerment, where we are responsible for our own life and can shape our reality by exercising our dominion over our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. We literally have the ability to take control of our destiny and can make conscious decisions and choices.

This is personal power baby! This is all about radical responsibility. This is how we create change in our lives.

However, many of us have not yet realised we hold this within us.

This is exactly what happened to me. I didn't know I had dominion to claim, and so without realising it, I handed it over. I lost my boundaries, my values, my sense of what I actually needed – and I became a complete shell of my former self. It took hitting rock bottom and years of inner work to begin finding my way back to myself.

The Work of Reclamation

Since that solo travel experience, I doubled down on the inner work. I have learnt so much about myself and how and why I have operated the way I did. I certainly don’t have it all figured out – I know this is our life’s work, so that is not the goal. But what I do know about what I’ve spoken directly to in this blog is my reclamation of my dominion and how to apply this in my life. That is still evolving and I can see each time I take proactive steps in further reclaiming this power how impactful it is to my life.

You're Not Meant to Walk This Alone

This is why I do the work I do, so I can walk alongside you and help you reclaim your power. To reconnect with your inner authority, your intuition and work with the blocks that may be holding you back. This work is powerful and you are not meant to walk it alone.

Through one of the modalities I work with - Spiritual Alchemy, we can alchemise these blocks that may be holding you back. Alchemy does what it has always done – it transforms. Not by erasing what happened, but by going into the deeper layers where those patterns actually live – the subconscious beliefs, the ancestral imprints, the soul-level agreements you never consciously made – and turning them from resistance into resource. The version of you who does this work doesn't carry less of her story. She carries it differently. This is why I love this work so much.

If any part of what I've shared felt uncomfortably familiar – whether it looked exactly like this relationship, or showed up somewhere else in your life as that same pull you couldn't explain, the confusion about what was actually yours, the exhaustion of living inside someone else's energy – a Spiritual Alchemy Session might be exactly the next step. We start with your vision, clear what's sitting between you and it, and realign your energy so the pathway forward can actually open. You can find out more and book your session here.

"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do."

- Brené Brown