#1 - A relationship with a narcissist

A Relationship with a Narcissist
For years, I was stuck in a romantic relationship with a narcissist - a relationship that left me questioning everything about myself. Even after the breakup, the cycle of emotional and mental abuse continued for another two to three years, and I felt trapped in a maze I couldn’t find my way out of. It was a painful, confusing rollercoaster, and I wasn’t sure I could ever get off.

How It All Began
The relationship started intensely, and in hindsight, I realised this was the first red flag. However, in the moment, I ignored my gut feeling, caught up in the illusion that this was the love of my life. Maybe you’ve been there too - where "love is blind" seems all too real, and you convince yourself that you’re with your soulmate. The truth is, I mistook intensity for passion and soul connection when really it was a toxic attachment that slowly eroded my sense of self.

My friends and family tried to warn me. They saw the red flags too, and I was so busy trying to explain away his behaviour - to them and myself - that I refused to see the truth. Don't get me wrong, there were good times throughout the relationship. We had moments of laughter, love, dreams, and connections with family. However, the emotional cost was far greater than any good memories. Gradually, I lost myself. My confidence, my identity, and my health - all eroded under the weight of emotional manipulation and narcissistic abuse.

When the Truth Came Crashing In
It all came crashing down when I found out he had been emotionally cheating - sending inappropriate messages to other women and meeting them behind my back. Still, every time I confronted him, he denied it, making me feel like I was the one losing my grip on reality. He twisted every situation until I believed I was to blame, further pulling me into a web of guilt and self-doubt.

When we finally broke up, I was shattered. Despite everything, I still believed he was my soulmate. The heartbreak was excruciating. For the next two to three years, I found myself torn between wanting to break free and getting sucked back into his manipulative cycle. Every time I thought I had moved on, his messages, his calls, his words would pull me back into the whirlwind of confusion and pain.

The Path to Healing
The turning point came when I started investing in myself. It wasn’t an overnight process - healing rarely is. But I began to understand that my healing wasn’t about him; it was about me. I sought out coaching, threw myself into personal development, and rediscovered my spirituality. I devoured books, attended workshops, practised yoga and meditation, and explored breathwork. Each modality peeled back layers of pain and self-doubt, helping me rebuild the connection with my inner self.

One of the most transformative experiences was travelling around Australia in a van - just me, the open road, and the space to be alone with my thoughts. It was terrifying at first, but solitude became my teacher. It taught me how to be my own companion, to love myself unconditionally, and to find strength in my own presence.

Through breathwork, energy healing, and self-empowerment, I eventually released the grip he had on me. Breath by breath, I reclaimed my life. The fog began to lift, and for the first time in years, I felt truly free - grounded in my body and connected to my soul.

Finding My Purpose
Now, I look back with immense gratitude for the hardships I faced. Not only in that relationship; all of the other traumas, heartbreaks, and disappointments throughout my life. Moving through all those painful experiences and memories taught me more about myself than anything else could have. The relationship breakdown was the catalyst for my soul’s awakening, guiding me towards my true purpose—helping others heal and find their own path to self-discovery.

If you are reading this and feel lost, know that you are not alone. Our deepest wounds can become our greatest teachers. The pain we endure can lead us to our highest self, our true purpose, and the reason our soul chose this life. I hope my story gives you the courage to step into your healing and trust that there is light on the other side.